Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
