Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
