I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's official drugs can't kill me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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