So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
