The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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