Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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