coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
MIDGETS
????
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
