Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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