You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
