i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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