They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
