p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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