I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
