3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
