waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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