i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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