HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
