his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have aggressive nipples.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dear god my vagina.
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