sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize