I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
