How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
