dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize