"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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