he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
