we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
