It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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