Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
