I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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