would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did you just see the Batmobile???
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
