Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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