I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
