One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
