So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I puked a lego.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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