Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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