There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
