dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
