hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
