You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
