your room smells of hookers.
And success
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
