I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
