idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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