yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
