After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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