moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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