if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Houston, we have a squirter
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
