apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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