if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
