were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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