okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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