What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize