Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize