i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize