i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
