Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
