what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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