I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
