When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
