toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
