i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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