Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
