friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
